meh

 Oh, hi. we meet again.

Remember I told you guys about re-arranging my page?

Well, I bumped on to some thoughts and jump to a conclusion that this writing style is my comfort place.

writing down what I feel when I'm at my worst or happiest is my kind of self healing.

an introvert at its finest

So, maybe, for a long period--or not--I can't decide, I may not change anything at this blog. 

These days I hardly keep up my sanity. Being stuck at home with lots of assignments, classes, and final task is surely getting on my nerves.

I sleep less lately and it just worsen my days :-)

sorry for blabbering but, still, thanks for staying on my comfort place.

And for myself, hang in there, I know you can do this.

gotta punch out my final task if it was an object-__- hahaa 

hwaiting!!! 

Oppa-oppa please wait for me, we'll meet again once I finished this :')

I am not who I am

 Dear world

My hidden world

My rendesvouz

I’ve tried so hard to show my strength, but here I am falling at my weakest

I dont want the world to see my weakest point

I dont want the world know that I have lots of regret

I dont even want to turn myself into someone I’m not

I dont want to have revenge

I dont want to be this skeptical

Now I lost trust to people

I lost interest in some fun things

I want people to feel what I feel

For me, this is more than just a phase

Dont mind me

 Seberat apapun Ema harus percaya... kalau memang ada indah dibalik ini semua

Tapi yang paling berat adalah berdamai dengan kenyataan

Kenyataan kalau serindu apapun ema, Ayah tetap ga akan kembali lagi

Kenyataan kalau sekuat apapun tangis ema, Ayah tetap ga akan bangun lagi

“Mereka” ga akan tahu beratnya melalui hari-hari itu... ga akan tahu betapa sulitnya menulis satu baris kalimat di lembar ilmiah ketika baru beberapa hari peristiwa sulit itu berlalu

Hampir bisa dikatakan depresi... tiap hari menangis dan tertawa.. lalu menangis lagi ketika semua orang sudah terlelap. Membuka mata dipagi hari pun sangat berat, tidur sudah seperti pelarian, dimana Ayah bisa kutemui dalam mimpi. Yah, saat dimana mimpi lebih indah dari kenyataan itu nyata adanya

Bagi Ema yang terberat bukan dihari Ayah pergi meninggalkan dunia, tapi hari-hari setelahnya.

“Mengapa hari berlalu cepat, tapi bagiku terasa lambat?”